2/9/2021 Week 6: Differences in Emotional Expressiveness

     I am fascinated by the study of cultural misunderstandings and the idea of emotional expressivity adds to that. Emotional expressivity does not stop at the individual feeling an emotion. They express the emotion and those around them interpret the emotion. Emotions and especially the interpretation of those emotions are not universal. This can lead a person to interact with someone else in the wrong way. The previous video does a great job at explaining this idea as well as giving some examples.

     Coming from the United States, it is natural for me to see someone smile and think they are happy. However, like the video shows, if that person is from Thailand, they very well might be uncomfortable. They express the same emotion in a different way than I do and I would typically not stop to think anything about it. So, I would not check on their comfort level and would continue the behavior that was making them uncomfortable in the first place. This would have me come across rude and impolite. Now we are both caught in a cycle of misunderstanding each other and lead to a lack of connection.

     I think one of the things about cultural misunderstandings that fascinates me so much is that I see these in so many facets of my life. So many of these are because there is ignorance and a lack of awareness and acceptance of differences. If we allowed people a line of grace to be different and don’t view those differences as wrong or bad, we allow ourselves more opportunity for connection. Then we take it one step further and don’t just give space for differences, but we seek them out and ask where that person is coming from. We don’t merely allow the differences to exist, we see what we can learn from them.

     I have worked in several jobs with individuals that have disabilities. There was one individual that I worked with that was on the Autism spectrum. I didn’t know this at first. He would sit at a table near the larger group in the break room and kept to himself. He never laughed with everyone else while we would joke around working. Most of us figured he didn’t like us or he thought he was too good for us.

     One day in the break room, we were watching a video on someone’s tablet and it looked like he was trying to see so I invited him over to our table. He didn’t smile or say anything, but he did slide into an open chair next to me. He stopped me after work that day and thanked me for the invitation. I didn’t think much of it, but invited him again to sit with us the next day. This happened for a few days. I would make the invitation and he would join us. Then one day I didn’t invite him because I figured at that point he knew he could and the invitation wasn’t needed anymore. However, this day he sat by himself and another friend made a statement about if he was avoiding us or if we all smelled bad. This friend intended it as a well meaning joke. However, the boy was apologetic and said he didn’t know if he could. He then opened up about how hard it was for him to understand social settings and that he was on the Autism spectrum and it made it challenging for him to express emotions in the same way as us. The times he wasn’t laughing with us, he was still having fun.



     He was a great guy and super smart. We all enjoyed hanging out with him and could have gotten to know him better if we would have been more open minded and reached out sooner. We missed out on connection because we were closed off to differences.

     This is how it is with those from other cultures. Knowing that cultural differences in emotional expression exist is the first step. Be aware that not everyone is the same as you and not everyone views the world in the same way. Be willing to ask questions and be willing to have an open mind. I believe as we allow our differences to show, we can learn and connect with each other.