2/6/2021 Week 5: Cultural Miscommunication

I was listening to a lecture by Professor Ivers from BYU Idaho. The lecture is all about cultural miscommunication and how we base our understanding of communication on the paradigms that we hold. An example that stood out to me was about his wife and the class that she is an aid for:

“My wife is a kindergarten aid and she had a student from China. And the student was very intelligent, very impressive, and so they decided that they were going to make this student “student of the week.” And the student was going to have his photo out in the hallway and samples of his work out in the hallway, and all the kids were going to see it. And the student cried, and cried, and cried, because he was going to be “student of the week,” and all his stuff was going to be out in the hallway.  And so my wife and the main kindergarten teacher tried to console him, saying, "This is a good thing, this is a good thing."  They thought he misunderstood. 

 

Then, all of a sudden, the Chinese boy's parents are on the phone with the elementary school saying, "How dare you make our student ‘student of the week’ and put his stuff in the hallway." 

 

See, that would humiliate him in a group-oriented society, because he would be the nail that is sticking out.  Now, they’d be happy if you told them in a personal interview that he was a good student.  They would probably say he's not that good, but they would still be happy. But when you put him on display for everyone else to see, then they believe that will bring public scorn to him, possibly. “

This well intended gesture was not seen kind at all. In my own culture, if I had my work on display and was given the title of “student of the week,” I would be thrilled. I would be so proud of myself and would want everyone to see my accomplishments. It is not part of my cultural paradigm to be embarrassed by being singled out in this way. For this child and his family it was. 

There were many examples given by Professor Ivers that were about the way people spoke to each other. He mentioned speaking too directly as being offensive to some. He also brought up interrupting as something that people do. I am from the South in the United States and we are a very talkative bunch. Interruptions happen all the time. It means that conversation is happening and that everyone involved is engaged in the conversation. I sometimes find it weird when I’m in a conversation and the other person is just quiet. They might say something after I finish, but that back and forth is missing. To me it feels like the person I am talking to doesn’t care much about what is being said. Instead, they might just be polite and care a great deal. That's why they are quiet, because they care and want to hear it all.

The other thing in this lecture that stood out to me was a discussion about race and cultural misunderstandings that arise between white Americans and African-Americans. African-American culture tends to make more eye contact while speaking and look away more when listening. This is the opposite from white Americans. The direct eye contact and energy can be seen as intimidating and this lends itself to already ingrained racist steriotype that African-Americans are dangerous or bad.

All of these miscommunications are because individuals place expectations on others and make assumptions. This is another reason that I feel like everyone needs to have some understanding that there are different cultures out there, some even within your own country. These cultures see things differently and different doesn’t mean wrong. Even within our own culture, there are misunderstandings that are born from assumptions. Professor Ivers makes this statement,

 “Be aware of those potential misunderstandings, and realize that those people have good intentions. They have good intentions, they are just working off of different paradigms.”

We need to put our assumptions aside, especially when it comes to our interactions with individuals from other cultures. Expect the best out of people. More often than not, people mean well. Go into every interaction with an open mind and realize the good intentions.