I grew up in a household that was very structured and task oriented. My siblings and I were involved in sports and other extracurricular activities where the philosophy was "To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be running late. To be late is to be running laps." "Give your full focus to the task at hand," "Let's stay on schedule," and, "See it through," are all lines that I heard from my parents countless times. While I knew there were families and individuals that ran late and didn't adhere as strictly to timelines as my family, I still assumed that a time-based schedule was the norm for everyone.
My first introduction that this wasn't the case was when I met a friend of mine, Brittany. She moved into my neighborhood to be closer to her husband's family. Alberto, her husband, was from Mexico and his parents, brother, and several aunts and uncles all lived nearby. I was invited to a dinner with his family at 6pm one evening. I arrived around 5:45and was the first guest there. By 6:30, only a few more guests had arrived. They had music playing and great conversation, but I could tell that food would be a long way off. The plan was to grill carne asada, but the grill was not lit until close to 8:00. I left around 9, and people were still showing up as I pulled away. Even though I had an incredible time, I was confused and frustrated about being told that dinner was at 6:00. When I talked to my friend, her response was, "Oh. I should have warned you. That's just a Mexican thing." I didn't get it.
Today, I listened to a lecture given by Professor Ivers and first learned of the concepts of monochronic and polychrinic time. I find this idea fascinating. Professor Ivers laid out that the monochonic world is ruled by the schedule and a polychronic world is ruled by relationships and the family. When put that way, I love the polychronic way of thinking. My friend Brittany's in-laws were not in a rush to get the grill lit and food cooking, because they were enjoying spending time with their guests. They were making connections. They knew that some family would be coming after work and that the party would last a long time. There was no rush only enjoyment. There are so many times that I get frustrated with my kids because the second we have to be somewhere is the second they need a trip to the bathroom or they need a snack or help with their shoes. It slows me down and makes me late. Being late puts me in a bad mood. If I could shift my focus to prioritize the people in front of me - my family I think it would leave my home a more peaceful place. Taking an extra 5 minutes to sit down with my son to walk him through tying his shoes ones more time will help build a positive connection as well as help him gain a sense of independence. We can both walk away in a positive mood. Tying the shoes myself in a huff about being late only sets a negative tone for us all going forward.
What role does this play in the classroom? For starters, I think about different learning styles and personality styles. My daughter has inattentive type ADHD. She can only focus on what is going on in the moment. That doesn't always last long though because she can get distracted easily and often has several activities going on at one time. Too many times I am helping with her homework and I say, "If you would just stop playing with that toy and concentrate you could get this done much faster." I don't know why I still say this to her. It isn't true for her. She concentrates much better if she has music on or a small toy to play with. She does not view time the same way I do. There will be students in my future that see things from her perspective. I have to be able to meet them where they are and have understanding and find a way to teach in a way they can learn.
Now, my daughter comes with a diagnosis. There are protocols and supports in place to help her. When I am teaching students from different cultural backgrounds, they aren't coming with the same protocols and supports or a list of their different paradigms. It is up to me as a teacher to understand that time orientation is not the same across the globe. This is a fact that I need to store in my mind. It will help in not making a preemptive judgement about a student or their family. It is another cultural difference that should be embraced.
As an adult and a parent, I find myself hating schedules and loving them all at the same time. They keep things running smoothly and efficiently. As a single mom, I have a lot of responsibilities that have to get done. No one else is going to step in if I can't. If I put off work, I have to do it at night and that cuts into my sleep, which helps no one. I have to know how much I can handle and when to say no to extra work. Chaos would reign if I didn't live by a schedule. That being said, I think I let my schedule be in-charge too much. I would like to learn from the polychronic time orientation on how to relax on the time lines and to focus instead on family and connections. Do I really need to do the laundry right this minute or can I sit and read another book to my kids? Can I run late to a girl's night out because my kids wanted to tell me about their day and snuggle for a few more minutes?
Then, if I can see these priority differences for myself, it allows me to have more understanding and acceptance for others. It can help me from placing judgement on them as well. Did someone come late to a staff meeting I'm running because they were handling some things for a family member? Does someone need to cancel coming to game night because they are going to their sister's house instead?
Learning about cultural differences is really eye opening for me. It is a much needed reminder that the world doesn't function the same way I do. My way is not the only way of doing things. It is a reminder that compassion and understanding are essential. Regardless of the background of an individual, I want to have a classroom that everyone feels seen and valued.
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