2/16/2021 Week 7: Differences in Manners

 When I was 8, I moved from Utah to Louisiana. On my first day of 3rd grade, I found myself in trouble and sitting out of recess for being disrespectful. I spent that recess in tears! I was not a disrespectful kid and was hurt and confused at the idea. After talking with my mom and after she talked to the teacher, it was all cleared up. I didn't address my teacher with Ma'am and said, "huh" and "what" when asking the teacher a question. These things were not done in the southern classroom! The teacher interpreted my lack of knowledge about southern manners as being disrespectful and rude. I learned really quickly after that to NEVER use "huh" again when I didn't hear or understand something! 

That day in third grade has stuck with me. I never should have had my recess revoked or told I was being disrespectful. I should have been told how things work differently in Louisiana. This would have required my teacher to understand cultural differences in manners.

Here is another story about differences in manners from my life. When I was a senior in high school, my dad was preparing to be deployed with the Army to serve in Afghanistan. I remember one day he came home from a cultural training and I was intrigued. He was to go over and build roads and schools, what would it matter if he knew which spot the fork and knife went at the table! That was how little I understood at the time. My dad gave some examples of things they learned like never pointing at something with one finger. Always gesture with two fingers or the whole hand. And never shake hands with someone with your left hand. 

When my dad returned home from deployment, we talked about that class in manners and if it made a difference. He said that his unit worked closely with a group of local Afghani men. One day the men didn't show up to the work site. When my dad's unit finally tracked them down, they learned that something one of the soldiers did or said deeply offended the men and they refused to work together anymore. While my dad didn't go into details over what the offense was, he did say it was something that was covered in the class and that if the soldier would have taken that valuable information to heart, the whole thing would have been avoided.

Different cultures have different sets of manners. As a teacher I will work to put my pride in check and not assume the worst from my cross-cultural students. With patience and civility, I will hopefully prevent any manners mishaps like mine from 3rd grade or my dad's from his deployment.